Top Tip: Just when you are about to give up. Don't; It's not your fault.
Charlie has Autism Spectrum Disorder. This was one of the hardest days of my life, and I am sure many more parents of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder will be able to relate to this story. Charlie was three years old, his ability to communicate was limited and he was always on the go. Two things I need to explain before this story begins. Firstly: it took Jane and I two years to fully accept that Charlie would always be different. For that period of time our marriage was tumultuous and the pressure was extreme. Secondly: I hated driving in the car when it was just Charlie and me. Charlie always took his aggression out on me. The car can be a volatile and dangerous place when you have a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
From the onset of the Autism diagnosis, Jane had become very emotional and, in my opinion, unreasonable and argumentative. On this particular day I had a row with Jane, she was doing my head in. It was my first Sunday off in ages and some minute issue had erupted into a major deal between Jane and I. Jane wanted to be left alone so I put Charlie in the car and decided to drive 70 miles to my mother's house. This break would give Jane and I, the space we needed. Within five minutes of driving, the traffic came to a standstill; cars were gridlocked, taking 20 minutes to move one mile, Charlie was beginning to get very cross and agitated. I was doing all I could to reason with Charlie, I could only liken the car to a pressure cooker. An hour later we started moving, just in time to save me from blowing a fuse. Then Charlie threw a metal Thomas the Tank Engine at my head (it just missed me and hit the windscreen). I tried to ignore it but couldn't I was getting really annoyed. I drove a little further down the motorway then I felt the back of my seat starting to go down. Charlie was pushing the mechanism with his foot. I asked him nicely to stop but he kept it up, he knew I was stressed to bits and was acting up. I was on a motorway, travelling at a speed of 70 miles an hour with the backrest of my seat going horizontal and a whingeing, ungrateful, unresponsive, Autistic child in the back seat. I finally cracked.
I pulled the car to the side of the motorway, straightened up the seat, and asked Charlie to stop annoying me; all the while I was using as many profanities as were in my vocabulary. I turned the car around and drove home nearly in tears. Twenty minutes later I walked into the house. Jane hadn't known what had happened and was still in a bad mood with me, I started to talk but she was still annoyed. I didn't want to stay in the house because of the atmosphere so I decided to bring Charlie for a walk up to the mountains, we did this fairly regularly (I felt I needed to clear the air with Charlie first before I tackled Jane). Charlie was wearing a nice pair of trousers and he had a new pair of trainers on, so I decided we would walk on the pathway. When I got to our usual walking haunt Charlie jumped out of the car and headed up the track. I asked him not to go near the muddy puddles because he would need his trainers in the morning to go to the play group. Charlie looked at me with that evil look then ran straight into a huge puddle; he then picked up a piece of rope and wrapped it around his legs. I was distraught; he purposely did it to upset me even more. I had to give up again for the second time that day. We walked straight back to the car; he stood in dogs dirt on the way back and unintentionally wiped it all over the back seat. This was the nearest I have ever been to self destruction. Why me God? What did I do to deserve this? Will it ever end? I went home, Jane and I talked, Charlie and I made up and from that day on I had a new healthy respect for the monster they call Autism.
My Name is Peter Devlin, my website is Autisminireland, Here is the URL http://www.autisminireland.com/ I have an 11 year son Charlie, he has Autism. I am now an expert on Autism. The journey has been tough, extremely tough. I have decided to write a series of short stories about how I managed to beat Autism and sometimes how Autism managed to beat me. Have a look at Charlie's pictures they are amazing. Send me your stories, and lets educate together.My website has a multitude of stories and helpful hints about Characteristics of autism and traits pertaining to Autism Spectrum Disorder.
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